When Your Body Knows Better Than Your To-Do List
I learned about this concept of the "island where everything works out" when I did my coaching program. Sounds nice, right? It’s a destination that we’re constantly trying to get to. The belief that if we do enough of this and that, then we’ll finally get to this island – where we’ll be successful, focused, calm, organized, etc. As we do more, the expectation is that we get closer to the island – however, we find more things to keep us further from this island.
There will always be something to do or to become or to learn, it’s what we do best as humans – doing! What we might also be telling ourselves is, “what’s here is not good enough.” And the island may actually be a garbage patch floating in the ocean filled with our biggest inner critic, or the demands of the dominant culture (look up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch - it’s sadly real!).
I’m currently pursuing a dream of mine. When I think I’m closer to the island where everything works out, there’s more that pops up that leaves me further away from the island. As I go after this dream, I’m noticing the actions that are within my control and what is completely out of my control. And it’s the latter that really calls the shots… So what to freaking do – or not do?
Here’s a wild idea. How about we stop doing – for a little bit?
I work with clients who are passionately committed to pursuing their dreams and goals. In our sessions together, we’ve gotten creative (and uncomfy) with how and when to stop doing and when to just be – all in support of reaching their dreams/goals. This happens when the stress of the pursuit of the dreams/goals are too high and all consuming, leaving clients exhausted, hopeless, or trapped. There are times when we can’t think or action our way closer to the dreams/goals – some things need to take a natural course that isn’t linear and is out of our control. To keep my clients focused and not burnt out, I invite them to take a break from doing, and allow their bodies to lead. This can be for a second, a minute, or even ten.
Close our eyes to connect with our body
Take three deep breaths to ground ourselves
Place both feet in the ground and feel the earth holding you up
Check in with our body’s temperature or other cues, and use that as a signal for what’s next…
At the end of a difficult week, I went running on the boardwalk. I was in flow! I reached a marker, stopped to look at the ocean, asked myself “do I keep running” – but instead was drawn to the water (surprise, surprise). I took off my shoes and walked towards the ocean to give my feet a mini ice bath. I looked back to the busy boardwalk, then down the soft beach lined with seashells and a buffet for birds – and my body led me down the beach on a stroll (while my head said, “this is the most inefficient way back” *lower the volume down on that*).
As I lingered a little longer, through the shallow waters, the sun hit the water and the sand in a way that reminded me that the earth still sparkles. A feeling swept through my body, “I’m going to be more than okay.” And that was enough for me to appreciate what’s here and stop swimming towards the supposed island where everything works out.
What does it mean for you to let your body take the lead, and how will you know that it’s time to let it?
How do you care for yourself as you work towards your dreams and goals?
What helps you feel satisfied with your day and where you’re at currently, that’s beyond the checklist of doing the things?
